Computer jokes

'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.

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Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

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Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?

O2.zip

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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI ...

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Ive just loaded COLIN MCRAE HELICOPTER SIMULATOR on to my PC ... but it keeps crashing ...'

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A computer technician says "Why even have a 3-chip Hi-Def camcorder if you can't calibrate the white balance"!!!!!!!

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- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

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A system administrator has 2 problems:

- dumb users
- smart users
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How do you tell if a blonde is using a computer?

Their's liquid paper all over the screen!

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"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

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What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?

The used-car salesman KNOWS when he's lying.

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.